The Dallas Cowboys are the biggest frauds in the NFL, but they don’t hold a candle to Denny Hamlin in the NASCAR world.
At least that’s what the internet told me all day Sunday, and, frankly, I’m not sure who’s truly the biggest choker. It’s a tough call, and not a fun one to make because we don’t like violence around here.
Just kidding! It’s a wonderful call to have to make because nothing gets the juices flowing more on an otherwise dreary Monday in January than some Cowboys/Denny Hamlin slander. Two peas in a NASCAR-NFL pod.
Denny, by the way, got engaged last week! True story. We’ll talk about all of it here in a bit.
Welcome to one of the final offseason Mondays of the year, which is weird to write on Jan. 15 but it’s true. We’re a month away from Daytona, a few short weeks away from the Clash out in disgusting California, and business — as Darrell Waltrip used to say — is about to pick up. Can’t wait.
We’ll get to loser Denny today. Along the way, I’d also like to check in on Samantha Busch, because our NASCAR WAG is officially in vacation mode and I think we’re all in for a big few weeks. Buckle up.
We also had another NASCAR wedding over the weekend, Kyle Larson went for a ride in a midget (the car, don’t cancel me!) and Bubba Wallace dunked on a hater over on Elon’s Twitter.
He also showed off his whiskey collection, which I’d like to dive into. I know ya’ll love you some Bubba, and I’m nothing if not a man of the people!
Four tires, enough fuel to get us to and from Sam’s busty vacation and maybe some sun block for her just in case … Monday Morning Pit-Stop — the ‘We’re Almost To The Offseason Checkered Flag, Just Hang On A Little Longer’ edition — is LIVE!
Is Denny Hamlin the NASCAR version of the Dallas Cowboys?
Might as well start the week by calling out loser Denny Hamlin. It’s only fair.
So, I noticed around halftime of yesterday’s Cowboys meltdown that Denny was trending on Twitter, which was weird given it’s January. My first thought was that he died, which was gonna be a real bummer for obvious reasons.
Good news: he is alive!
After checking his pulse, I did find the root of the trend, and it had to do with the below tweet. I’ll post a handful of the responses as well, but just trust me when I tell you it’s pretty much just Denny Hamlin:
Denny Hamlin!
— fedup sports fan (@annoyedmets523) January 15, 2024
Denny Hamlin in the playoffs
— Jarrett Grose (@JarrettGrose) January 15, 2024
Denny Hamlin -sincerely a Cowboys fan
— Ross Crashtain (@RossCrashtain) January 15, 2024
Funny name on that last one. Respect.
Now, there were a few other names given, including Mark Martin, which is the obvious one. Mark and Denny have been compared for years now, because Hamlin is pretty much a modern day Mark Martin.
Hall of Fame driver, wins a bunch of races, always in the mix to win it all, never wins it all. Denny has 51 career NASCAR Cup Series wins with one runner-up finish in the standings and a ton of third and fourths.
Mark had 40 wins with about a dozen runner-up finishes (not quite, but he finished second a TON).
The difference for me is the fact that Denny Hamlin is universally hated at this point, much like the Cowboys. Mark Martin was never hated until he retired and yelled Build That Wall at a Trump rally back in 2016. The libs didn’t love that. Shocking.
Martin also drove the Viagra car, which was funny in itself.
Bottom line: I’m with the internet on this one. Denny Hamlin is 100% the Dallas Cowboys of NASCAR.
What a loser!
Kyle Larson goes for a ride
Now, Kyle Larson is most certainly not the Cowboys of NASCAR. He’s actually won a…
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