Cody Bellinger, the center fielder turned first baseman extraordinaire, has my heart racing. Who cares if he’s more at home in the outfield? A little infield action could be just the spice his MVP-caliber career needs. The qualifying offer drama with the Cubs is like Shakespearean theater — gripping and full of suspense!
Carlos Santana, the ageless wonder, is the true embodiment of ‘league-average offensive numbers.’ It’s like music to our ears. And that strong defense? I can already see the Gold Glove glittering in the distance.
Brandon Belt, the maestro of favorable platoon situations, is a symphony of strategic plate appearances. A 34.9% strikeout rate? Mere background noise in the grand orchestra of his $9.3MM Blue Jays performance.
Joey Votto, the seasoned veteran, is like the fine wine of first basemen. A replacement level performer, you say? Perhaps he’s just waiting for the perfect moment to unleash his age-40 magic. The drama of a potential move after 17 seasons with the Reds? It’s the kind of storyline Hollywood producers dream about.
And last but not least, Garrett Cooper, the right-handed hitter who had us all on the edge of our seats with his uncharacteristically middling season. What a plot twist! Will he find a new home after being off the Brewers’ table? The suspense is unbearable.
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